As we reach the ends of our college careers some worry about finding their husbands or wives and sadly settle for someone out of fear that they should leaving college no closer to love than when they first arrived.

I find I've become even more selective. Granted I pulled a lousy grade in genetics class this term, coming away with little more knowledge than when I went in but oddly enough its completely changed the way I look at the opposite sex. Dont lower your standards, thats what they say but you know what? Take another look at those standards because they may need changed. I'm coming into a place in my life where I believe I may not want kids, but if I ever do I now have genetic standards that my spouse must possess.

Tall.
Attatched earlobes.
That is all.

We Were Promised Jetpacks

Its a new year and I couldnt be less interested.

When I made New Years plans with friends, I knew I would blow them off and go to church. Its a great feeling that place and there is no place in the world like it.

Weird this whole time I've been trying to experience all I can for fear that I will teach in Podunk, Indiana for the rest of my life. I have to see the world before I teach, I have to get all my living done, then I can settle into a career. It occured to me tonight that I've given my life to God and maybe my life is not meant to be lived here. I've no idea where I'm going but I've a feeling it isnt here.

All I think about is the future, its all I dream about every moment of the day. Atleast its not boys, apparently I'm maturing. But sometimes I dream of boys in my future, not sure what to make of that.

Theres no place like home and no place like home church. It never changes this place and there will always be people there who know you and love you. Even if you've never spoken and dont know their name, theres a connection, a relation and no matter where I go they will be there when I come home. When I go abroad I will dream of them. Everywhere I go and every other place I worship will be compared and never quite living up to home church.

I can put you there. Fellowship Missionary Baptist off of Morris St in Indianapolis Indiana. Its small but every pew occupied. There are table of food in the kitchen, deviled eggs and fried chicken and as many desserts as dishes. The carpets green and pews cushioned in blue and the moment you walk in theres a spirit that tugs your heart. The singing fills my heart and my eyes well, how rare this place is and how blessed am I to have been given it. And how dare I keep it to myself? I leave for Ireland soon and I am burden my the amount of time I've spent with the people I love talking about everything but Christ.

Beauty in the Break Down-Frou Frou

In the dark of the winter night down the country road that accompanies your thoughts, Alt nation serves as the metaphor of life in that you only know one out of ten songs. And thats life, you only know one tenth. You've only seen heard and stepped a foot on a small small percentage. You've only met one small number of people so why settle? Stand, walk through the cloud of smoke and the girl passed out on the floor and book the flight that'll take you to a place far from this that you already know.

Sink or Swim

Theres a comfort in leaving all you know behind. Because when it comes down to it, you belong no where and anywhere and with no one in particular. When the ones you choose to be with are satisfied getting high leaving you alone at the bottom, what choice does one have but to leave? When one feels as though theres no one in the world just like them. What then? Be true, be yourself, sink or swim. Sinking involves settleing, a fate I cannot fathom and swimming well that involves work. Is it work to be yourself? How easily do you change yourself to cater to those surrounding you?

I wonder if people have gone their entire lives living as someone else because they had no one to be themselves with. Being yourself is the easy part, finding those to share the gift of who are and what you have is the toughy. So do your thang, smoke it drink it, snort it because lonely it may be theres always a comfort waiting in a country road on a starry night.