Fun - Some Nights

I cant sleep.  Ghana is days away.  In bed awake, I realize that tomorrow is Friday.  I had no idea.  Friday means the last night at the Pub with friends.  It means driving to West Lafayette.  It means only one more night in my bed.

I still need sport bras.

I still need locks for my luggage.

I still need blank page journals.

  Let me tell you my fears of Africa and of the Peace Corps.  Just this week it occurred to me that one of my biggest fears is not having a great group of fellow volunteers.  My Maymester in India came to mind.  A group of twenty of us, each a stranger.  That group was great because each person was great.  Everyone was positive, the were excited to be where we were.  Groups were not formed, we were one group and all so dumbfounded with Delhi.

I hope I find the same in the group I fly to Ghana with.  But I fear it.  They can make it or break it.  What if I do not like them, what if I do not fit it?  What if they are all real knowledgeable or passionate about agriculture and I am...something else.  What if there is something I have not done to prepare?  What if they've all been learning Twi (a native language) on their own while I've been re watching Harry Potter?

Fall makes leaving hard.  Shopping makes leaving hard.  While I'm out searching for duct tape, knee length shorts and Chacos I see the cute fall fashion.  The sweaters, cardigans, scarves and shoes I would buy if I were staying, if I had a job.  And it gets all the more tempting knowing that is an option.  Gee, that new Honda Accord on that commercial looks real real cool, I want one of those.  I could stay.  I could work.  I would work anything, maybe industry, maybe teach...if it meant I could buy all the pretty things I want.

But I'm only getting comfortable and that is generally my que to leave.  And if past experience is any indication, my not wanting to go to Africa means that I should go and when I get there I will not want to leave.

I leave my life as I know it.  Lunch downtown with Dad, bike trails at night.  Home.  Farm.  Family.  Driving.  Comfort.  Fall.  My bed, my room, my pillows.  For what?  What do I leave it all for?  New, different... mud hut.

There is a quote given to me by a friend and I do not have it so I will get it wrong but is says something like:
Everything in Africa bites.
Mosquito bite
The tsetse bite
But what bites the hardest is Africa herself, she will grab hold and never let go.