I should be studying

Onto another rant. I'm making up for the weeks of blog neglect.

While talking to these girls I noticed they both had big, beautiful shiny diamonds on their ring fingers. So gorgeous I had to ask if tey were real and they were, they had both gotten engaged in Ireland. They said they kept getting almost disapproving reactions from the Irish, Irish just dont get married that young and had apparently voiced this.

It just kinda made me think. Obviously its great and I'm so glad you found something that makes you so happy, and so many our age are there (five weddings this summer alone). Yet, I dont see where I would fit something like that into my life...I still have grad school and the rest of the world to see and change...or atleast attempt to change...an attempt at something...something...else?

They spoke of what home bodies they were. I remember that. I remember before I left to come, telling myself how great America was and how much I loved it and questioned why I was leaving it all. If my family and my friends are the most important thing to me and life is so short, why would I choose to be away from them? I was so angry for moving to Hawaii and leaving us/me behind as easily as they did.

And now the only thing bringing me home is my summer internship. I'm not in love with the university I think Purdue is better hands down. But the social side, the people, I love it and dont want to live without it. Despite loving Purdue there is always something present when with Ags, even of my own small major, something that doesnt work, doesnt fit and its me. Theres an awkward separation that I thought would be gone by now, I have friendships but they feel forced and fake. Ireland friendships were instant, (and maybe its because I'm American and they like having someone to adopt). Even though I have such different morals, theres an easy acceptance, no one cares. Back home if you dont drink...well that alone makes you awkward not to mention added judgements, mainly that you're judging them for drinking or that you're some crazy christian (which, well I am lol). Anyway, that was a rant and I wasnt going there but I did.. Everyone is nice and just cool and I cant help but think this was the way it was supposed to be.

I cant live with out my church though. Shame. Everyone is nice here, and they're all christians but few live it and thats what will bring me home in the end. Its not about getting drunk, its not about having sex. Its about wanting to live in a way...a righteous way that no one here has much of an interest in.

They're horny bastards. Their words, not mine. And you have to say it like the Lucky Charms guy. Speaking of, they dont have Lucky Charms here.

I like the culture...and I almost prefer it over ours. I like that there arent Walmarts (this took a while). I like that I always see little kids playing in the streets and I like that they're always in smart looking uniforms. I hate that everything is so expensive and that the produce goes bad really fast...but love that they dont have road ways with fast food on every side for miles. You dont see many over weight people, people just look healthy, normal. And the men age very well, many George Clooney-esq mean, like my film prof.

Starbucks

I've been in my room for the last eight days studying and in my down time I find myself in the kitchens, wandering the halls, in the market when I dont need to buy anything, or at Starbucks.

When I walked into Starbucks today, right off the bat I noticed a girl in a Lady Saints' soccer hoodie and I thought it looked like an Ameican hoodie, I know that sounds weird, but the Irish just dont wear hoodies like that. I didnt think much of it. She began a conversation with her mom on skype as I studied for Film Studies. Deep space-A film utilized deep space when signifigant elements fo an image are postioned both near to and distant from the camera. Ok so maybe I'm lying, maybe I meant to be studying but was really watching Indy 500 commericials and praying I'm home for it. Thats when this girl started naming Indianapolis township schools to her mom. My heart about popped. There were two of them, both from INDY and here we are in a Starbucks in Blackrock Dublin. I waited for her to hang up before I went over.

"Are you from Indy? Because I'm from Indy!!" Told them I was from Purdue and studying here, they were from IU in elementary ed. and were student teaching over here. It was a scream fest of:
"Omg, I'm sure we know so many of the same people, you're in ag, who do we know in Ag? Do you know Ben Forsithe?"
"Yes I know Ben Forsithe!! Hes in bluegrass! *scream giggle*."
"...do you know Bruce Cooley?"
"Yes I know Bruce Cooley! *scream giggle*" We did this for ages, I lost track of time.

We talked of cultural differences, what we missed about home, one being talking to a person who knew things only and Indiana person would know, things like Little 5, Franklin College of Ball State, things that mean nothing to people outside of Indiana.

Exams

In Ireland we get a revision week, then two weeks for finals. I has heard from others who studied abroad and specifically in Ireland that the students here dont take their grades as seriosuly. Its true no one cares about GPA, they just want to pass the course but take it seriously for sure, and I almost feel like they know more about their subjects. Granted I'm in ag and all of them are from farms, but thast no different from Purdue. I find the system harder, I have one multiple choice test and thats in math. I took my European Agriculture and Environment Policy test yesterday, I was allowed to bring in any notes, printed articles or books with me and had a good idea of the subject I'd be writing about. After two hours, I had two solid pages I was pretty happy with until I talked with peers and found that each of them wrote atleast 6 pages. "But I fluffed a lot." I hope you fluffed four pages. And the prof said its quality over quantity but four pages short, I missed something big for sure. My next Ag class final is worth 100 percent of my grade.

I feel like at home I can study hard core the day before, go into the multiple choice test, choose the best answer and come out with a decent grade, generally above average. But its just not the same, I feel like here, you have to KNOW your topic. Its not choose the best answer, its heres a subject, not only do you have to tell me about it, but have an opinion, come to a conclusion and dont forget to cite everything!

I am currently hangin out of a hostel window in Rome, accessing free wireless from no one knows where. Rome is amazing, today I saw Peters tomb. It blows my mind to know that Peter THE PETER is buried here. More so that he lived and died here, as did other christians and biblical figures of whom it is easy to not think of as real, existing in the same world that you exist in, and yet Rome brings it all together, all perfectly preserved and with a pride I cant fathom.

I'm really hungery so I'm going to go eat now. No like, the pizza is really cheap and really good, as is the gelatto, both of which we've eaten every day. Rome is walkable though and we've seen just about the whole thing.

Much more to write when I'm not cold, tired and hungery and hanging out the third story.

Where are you Going-Dave Matthews

A slip of paper greeted me when I came home tonight. I have a parcel!!! You dont understand how exciting this makes me. Its from Gramma, Ash or Emma...Gramma's means rice cakes and Mac and Cheese, Ash and Emma's are mysteries but anything from them would make my day. Come onnnnnn eight o'clock!!

I've discovered the greatness that is the radio on iTunes. Theres a station out of Bowling Green Ohio that plays the songs we sing at church, ooooold school hymns and bluegrassy, puts me in the front pew pretty easy and bout made me cry when I found it. Only on Sunday mornings though, at noon it goes polka.

So all I ever want to listen to is American country, and I cant help but think of driving 52 up to Purdue in the summer. Put the windows and canvas back down and drive and its so hot and the sun is blinding bright and there are corn fields that shine. Gosh I want to be there so bad and I think that I have to get an internship this summer...anything that'd have me in a corn field all day...

Last night was Beatriz's 21 and all the Spaniards made lots of Spanish dishes and decorated the dining room with balloons and streamers and everyone was dressed up so chic and cute. Company was good, conversation was good, it was so fun. Everyone you talk to is so lovely, I cant help but feel like I have to spend the summer in their country. No matter what I'm doing, even if I'm an Au Pair or a farmhand making no money at all, I have to live the places they call home, just seeing them will not suffice. The Spanish girls are always singing and they're so fun and when I hear the French speak I vow to learn French because its just so lovely. With as many places as there are in the world I cant afford to see the same place twice. I've seen Indiana for the last 20 years, lets give Sounthern France a summer, Spain, Germany or Greeeeeeece.

Have you ever seen A Good Year with Russell Crowe? Thats what I want my summer to be...I think thats southern France, but really anywhere I've never been'd be pretty magical.

Could I forgive myself for missing all the weddings this summer? And ya know as much as I talk about wanting to be home, it has its magic too. And who knows where life is going, maybe I'm to live my whole life in Southern France and should spend as much time as I can in the place I currently call home.

Haha, I met a Bostonian boy in the kitchen last night, and I knew immediately he was Boston. One: He was attractive AND lacked the man scarf. Two: Backwards cap. Three: Timberlands. Kid could have been Marky Marks little brother. Tommy (also Boston) came in and when they left all the American girls talked about how much they missed such American boys...and I hate how true it is.

I have friends, I have hobbies and school keeps me busy but walking down the Green Mile that is my hallway I had to stop and pray this morning because...I dunno its the sunshine and cornfield factor, ya get these 5 minute spouts where you really wanna be home. Then you get to school and friends are such good crack (catch that slang!) you day dream through lecture about how much more school you'd have to do if you were to come back next year. I want to be here with them next year...but with ag. education courses it would definatly mean an extra year or a change of major...

My psychic says I'm not coming home(!). Meh, I'll be home soon enough I suppose, I cant afford this life much longer.

I get so jealous of Michael Purol studying in New Zealand, hes like climbing mountains and junk seeing these great things and now I'm determined to discover ths country. I went kayaking last weekend and the kids were just about te coolest people I've ever met but seriously, they were in the water and it was 30 degrees so no doubt they were a bit touched. I really had confidence in myself. I honest to goodness thought I could handle myself. I've grown up in a kayak, I thought it'd be cake. There was frost on the ground, a crack in my boat and I really did want to die haha and I about did, four times I went over and three times had to come outta the boat.

Do note: You can get Wheelers disease (?) if you dont use antibacterial after kayaking in Ireland because rats pee on the bank and then you get it on your hands and die. Probably.

Live High by Jason Mraz

Sitting alone on a bench in a park in Blackrock Village, Dublin Ireland with a complete lack of emotion to the end of my very first real relationship, if one could call it thus. The clouds bright with city light simply glide across the sky and I wonder who they'll look down on in an hour. I wonder if last night someone was walking out of the gym at Purdue, and crossing the lawn and looked up into the big sky and noticed the clouds and stars as I used to on my walk home. My iPod plays the soundtrack to my life and I love how Jason Mraz (completely brilliant) makes so many references to God but kid sings so sexily of sex and drugs and I love every word.

Right so the clouds run away and the sky opens up and I feel like I'm in the lion king, I wisper Simba's name as if to call on him to bring me wisdom.

Tom Petty's American Girl and I'm proud.

My toes are freezing but I cant be bothered and for a second I wish Dad were sitting next to me, in the next second I realize how okay I am sitting alone. I've friends here and best girlfriends are a skype away but when it comes down to it...I'm alone. In Ireland alone. I'm on my own and I'm just fine. Thats where I thank God to be raised the way I was.

I walk into the darkness and head for "home" as God gives me a look back at the weekend and says "This is how your life could be if I didnt have your back. You're welcome." And I laugh beceause God, its true.

I've come to peace with the fact that home will always be on my mind. My iPod is always on shuffle and you cant hear American Country and not think of home. It seems that everyone I meet here has a twin, a look a like, or just reminds me vaguely of someone back home. You're all here in one form or another. Home is always in the back of my mind, but thats okay. Its not sad or homesick, its just fact. I've been on the look out for UCD's Robbie Hummel equivalent and I think I've found him but hes dark curly hair, glasses, dimples and a hurling bat permanently attached to his hand.