I should be studying

Onto another rant. I'm making up for the weeks of blog neglect.

While talking to these girls I noticed they both had big, beautiful shiny diamonds on their ring fingers. So gorgeous I had to ask if tey were real and they were, they had both gotten engaged in Ireland. They said they kept getting almost disapproving reactions from the Irish, Irish just dont get married that young and had apparently voiced this.

It just kinda made me think. Obviously its great and I'm so glad you found something that makes you so happy, and so many our age are there (five weddings this summer alone). Yet, I dont see where I would fit something like that into my life...I still have grad school and the rest of the world to see and change...or atleast attempt to change...an attempt at something...something...else?

They spoke of what home bodies they were. I remember that. I remember before I left to come, telling myself how great America was and how much I loved it and questioned why I was leaving it all. If my family and my friends are the most important thing to me and life is so short, why would I choose to be away from them? I was so angry for moving to Hawaii and leaving us/me behind as easily as they did.

And now the only thing bringing me home is my summer internship. I'm not in love with the university I think Purdue is better hands down. But the social side, the people, I love it and dont want to live without it. Despite loving Purdue there is always something present when with Ags, even of my own small major, something that doesnt work, doesnt fit and its me. Theres an awkward separation that I thought would be gone by now, I have friendships but they feel forced and fake. Ireland friendships were instant, (and maybe its because I'm American and they like having someone to adopt). Even though I have such different morals, theres an easy acceptance, no one cares. Back home if you dont drink...well that alone makes you awkward not to mention added judgements, mainly that you're judging them for drinking or that you're some crazy christian (which, well I am lol). Anyway, that was a rant and I wasnt going there but I did.. Everyone is nice and just cool and I cant help but think this was the way it was supposed to be.

I cant live with out my church though. Shame. Everyone is nice here, and they're all christians but few live it and thats what will bring me home in the end. Its not about getting drunk, its not about having sex. Its about wanting to live in a way...a righteous way that no one here has much of an interest in.

They're horny bastards. Their words, not mine. And you have to say it like the Lucky Charms guy. Speaking of, they dont have Lucky Charms here.

I like the culture...and I almost prefer it over ours. I like that there arent Walmarts (this took a while). I like that I always see little kids playing in the streets and I like that they're always in smart looking uniforms. I hate that everything is so expensive and that the produce goes bad really fast...but love that they dont have road ways with fast food on every side for miles. You dont see many over weight people, people just look healthy, normal. And the men age very well, many George Clooney-esq mean, like my film prof.