I'm so bored with the monontany that is my life right now. Its no coincidence that this depressing hole in my soul sprouts from the mess of lab reports, papers and exams to come in the next 24 hours. I dont want to do this.

I want to be outside walking around with someone. But theres no one. Everyones in the same boat, unless you count the zombies and nerf clad humans running around campus right now. Must admist that looks like fun. The kinda fun we're supposed to be having right now. I have less than a year until I start work and get a real life...somehow I feel like this is the end of life. End of fun. I dont want it. Less than a year and what am I doing with it? I'm so sad.

But what is there to do? I want people to do crazy fun things with. Where are you? Because I know you're here somewhere.

I dont want to get old. I dont want a job and I dont want a career and yet thats what I'm here preparing for. I dont want a family but theres a fear that accompanies that opinion. Cant I just chill for the rest of my life? I'll even give back to society, cant I do peace core for the rest of my life? Is there anything wrong with that?

And yet...are those not the people I look down on? No I guess I dont, not people who are living for others and giving back...I pity those who work with no site of goals...I fear my life turning into such and I fear I'm already there. I've no call anymore.